Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
