She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
