Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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