Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
