The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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