Three words: puerto rican gang bang
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
