nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
