therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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