As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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