Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
