They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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