Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(623): View more from Arizona

If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope

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(907): View more from Alaska

she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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(818): View more from California

dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.

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(408): View more from California

there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.

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(773): View more from Illinois

My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

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(404): View more from Georgia

They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

(618): View more from Illinois

Disappointment?

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(765): View more from Indiana

The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...

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(407): View more from Florida

this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks

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