You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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