Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize