you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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