Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
