Got a toothbrush?
Buhtt sex?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
