I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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