Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
