They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
