I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
