im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
