i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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