I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
