i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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