looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
