Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
