Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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