I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize