the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
