maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
