I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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