Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
