OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
