You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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