if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
