There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize