You can't motorboat a personality
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
