Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
