Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
