Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
