She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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