my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
