no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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