his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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