I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
