____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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