Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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