You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
