I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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