Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
