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• (802): View more from Vermont

  does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  actually, i try not to think about it

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and i pooped them out

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.

  Fav 4 2796 700

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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• (969): View more from

  You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.

  Fav 1 33 6

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.

  Fav 0 40 12

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