I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
