so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize