We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
