After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
