S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
