you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
