is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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